Saturday, 31 January 2009

Mutter, Mutter, Whinge, Whinge, Gripe

Hey, all. And just like that, in the blink of an eye, January's over. Sheesh. Am now back in PJ, having driven home with Debra on Thursday afternoon. Haven't been doing all that much since; just recuperating from the holiday, ironically. Unfortunately I'm in a bit of a down state these days, unmotivated and feeling like I haven't progressed very far, life-wise. Still living at home. Got a good job, but it's new and so it's not exactly earning me plenty (though yes, I realise considering the circumstances these days, I should be counting my blessings). Put on about 20 kilos between 2006 and as of right now. I look at those old pics from 2004 and 2005 and I wonder if I'll ever be that way again. And then snide people make snarky comments, and I feel lower than a grasshopper's knee. That's an awful/awesome imagery.

Let me tell you something, it sucks being the biggest person in the room. It sucks not feeling confident when seeing an old friend or an old relative because you're weighting (see the pun!) for the barbed comments. It sucks when you feel like you've got to suck in your gut each time you stand up. And oh yes, it sucks when even XXL-sized shirts seem tight. What the hell. Auuuggh!!! Yes, yes, I hear those energetic, know-it-all types going "just eat in moderation and exercise!" and I'm giving you the finger right now. Not because you ain't right. But because I'm not in the mood to hear it. So flip.

Anyway, you know me, I won't stay in this state for long, something or other will pick me up, sometime or other. I know you shouldn't compare yourself with others, but I look at some of my friends who are travelling the world thanks to their successful careers, or are living seemingly carefree on their own, or are settling down and getting married and having kids and whatnot, and I look at myself and think, I'm so far away from that point that it isn't really funny.

And then there's all this ambition in my head that I'd love to achieve, but I feel like I'm not getting anywhere, and maybe it's easier to be passionless, because then you wouldn't feel so pressured and disappointed when the things you want don't happen, when the things you'd love to create remain uncreated, and when the places you'd like to be remain so far away that it feels like there are lifetimes separating you from those destinations. Yes, yes, they're not happening now, but they will, so you know-it-all ever-so-wise ones say. Well. I'm living in the now. As of this point in time, the now sucks. And not in a good way.

Auggh, I'll snap out of this. Maybe. Hopefully. Sometime. Meantime, here's something to cheer you up. It's a silly little video, promised earlier, of my uncle getting tipsy and dancing with the wedding singer at my cousin's wedding. Only because, after all these weeks, it's still pretty funny to watch. Or maybe it's only funny to me because he's my uncle. But whatever. Smile. Don't smile. It doesn't really matter to me right now. I just wanna hibernate and don't wake up until this winter is over. Bye for now. Enjoy the vid.

Wednesday, 28 January 2009

Blah blah blah

Hello all. Day #4 or 5 in Penang. Haven't been doing all that much; just vegetating with tedious relatives who criticise your weight first thing upon seeing you, which is always a bundle of laughs. Have I mentioned how I don't like this time of year??? Moving on. Today I met up with some friends for brunch and lunch (that's two different groups of mates), which was pleasant. The brunch guys I hadn't seen in about ten years (yikes), so it was good to catch up, and we'll hopefully be catching up further next week. The lunch gang were my close friends whom I've been in touch with all these years, so it was also very nice to hang out with them for a little while. Penang is really congested (so what's new, eh?) and really too darn hot. Right now, I'm (surprise surprise) hanging out at a Starbucks, just killing time. Brought my keyboard and music equipment to my uncle's apartment and managed to do some recording a couple of nights ago, so maybe I'll post the audio clip soon. Maybe. We'll see. Ah well that's about all I guess. I'm ready to head back to PJ anytime soon. And maybe start pursuing the "my own apartment" quest. Maybe. We'll see. Bye.

Sunday, 25 January 2009


Rightyo. So I'm now in Penang, sitting in the living room of my grandparents' house after having lunch with the relatives. Feeling a little bit sniffly, and I think it's official: this, my grandma and grandpa's abode, is a house of allergens for poor ol' yours truly. Yup, been sneezing and sneezing and getting runny-nosed and watery-eyed, which is all really rather charming, don't you think. Heh.

Anyhoo, it's a good thing I ain't actually staying here over the next few nights; my brother and I are actually bunking over at my uncle's apartment, the impressively named Gold Coast Resort condo next in Queensbay (anyone would think I'm in Aussieland and not Penang, don't you think??). It's a very nice apartment indeed, very well furnished and decorated, very comfy. But don't just take my word for it — here are some pics I just had to take of the place:


So yeah, tomorrow's the first day of Chinese New Year, which is, truth be told, not my favouritest time of the year. Something about the tedium of meeting up with extended family and smiling wide grins and pretending we're all happy, while immediate family members bicker behind closed doors... eh, I'm just so over it. And not even the prospect of money in red packets helps to boost my enthusiasm any. Meh. Oh look, I've actually expressed these sentiments before. I guess some things don't change (or some people, some of you sarky, cynical ones might retort. Poo to you.)

Anyway I guess that's about it for now. The family's gambling (a popular Chinese New Year's past time) in the dining room, and I'm kinda bored-ish, so... best I do something to preoccupy myself. Till later... ;))

Thursday, 22 January 2009

Rambling, Sleep-Deprived

Hello everyone. Sorry for the lack of updates lately; been spending a lot of time at work, and when not at work, hacking away at that goshdurn FTL script which just can't seem to get completed no matter how hard I try! Oy vey, seems like I've been saying these things for ages, haven't I!

Actually, it's not been all that bad. I've completed, like, about 96% of the rewrites, which is terrific progress, I reckon. The downside is that most of these updates were done last night. Hahahaha!! (Hey, don't look at me like that... I've only had, like, about three years to make these changes. BWA HA.) Actually, let me amend that: the rewrites were done from about 11pm till 10am this morning. And I've been up and about since. So... y'know... I haven't had sleep in what feels like a lifetime, and my eyes are bleary and my head is hurting and whooboy everything is slightly hazy. Awesome. It's like I'm high on something.

But the positive part is that I managed to run through the changes with Colin, the FTL director-to-be, and he seems quite intrigued by the changes, which include massive rewrites to the back stories of the Shepherds and the Wise Men (for those of you not in the know, this is a musical version, mostly fictionalised, of the Christmas story). Well, not so much "intrigued"... rather, "I'll give you the benefit of the doubt" seemed to be Colin's key phrase during the meeting. Hmmm. *looks nervous now* Heh. Heh heh.

Anyway, I'm sitting in this new toast-and-coffee outlet in Uptown, near my home, called TC... literally "Toast and Coffee". Okay lah. Typical toast. And coffee.

So I've clearly "forgotten" to upload the images and stuff from my cousin's wedding last weekend, and now it's nearly a week later, and the momentum's faded and the excitement's all but gone. But fear not: it's Chinese New Year next week, and tomorrow morning I'll be heading back up to Penang (another four-hour solo roadtrip, yippeee!!), and I'll be posting new stuff from the island. That said, footage I have of my drunk uncle dancing the cha-cha alone on the dance floor is pretty darn funny!! I'll get round to uploading it here soon. Probably. Maybe. We'll see.

Okay folks. Until my next update... have a good weekend!! Byee!!! (Oh, it's a Thursday. Ah well. Same difference.)

Sunday, 18 January 2009

Back On The Island

Hey everyone!! Just a quick note: I'm still alive, hehehe. I'm actually in Penang right now, having done a solo roadtrip here this morning to join my family for a cousin's wedding. I'll share more updates on the wedding reception itself later, but for now, let's just say that I like driving to Penang on my own, because the four-hour journey is kinda cathartic, allowing me to relax and just concentrate on a focus-needed task (i.e. driving!); and also, I got to blare my music real loud (and I swear, listening to cast recordings of musicals, i.e. songs with a storyline, sure makes time go by a lot more quickly!); and also, I got to stock up on coffee and some light snacks to keep me nourished throughout the journey; and best of all, no annoying family members crowding up the car and whingeing about this and that and this and that! Whoohoo!

Anyway, I'm pretty sleepy so I'm going to stop here for now. Folks and brother are heading back home tomorrow (Sunday) but I'm going to hang around till Monday and leave in the morning. It's been rather hectic at work with elections happening, so work hours have been long and rather draining, but it's all good. Yes, that sentence was a bit irrelevant to what I was talking about previously. Sorry. Mindfuzz. Until later... buhbye!

Tuesday, 13 January 2009

Eyes Wide Open

Urgh. I really, really need to get some sleep therapy, if not just sleeping pills. Have not been sleeping well at all lately (see previous post for how long this has been going on!!)... I've been dozing off only at around 7am most mornings and getting up at about noon, with interruptions in between thanks to up-and-about parents and brother and dog scratching at the bedroom door. Sleeping in fits and starts can be totally draining. Was exhausted today at work; came home, headed to bed by 12:45am (which is remarkably early for me); and next thing I know, I'm awake at 3:30am, and my brain's spinning with all sorts of stuff that I can't seem to block out; and I'm still feeling exhausted but I'm not falling asleep; and it's nearly 6am now, with the alarm clock set at an ambitious 10am so that I can get up and do some work on my script before heading off to my actual work work. For those who are about to prescribe going to bed at regular hours, let me preface that with the clause that my job doesn't really allow for it, since my workdays are now 3pm to about midnight, if I'm lucky. Oy vey, what a mess. On the plus side, last Friday I actually had a semblance of a social life, going out to Alexis in the city to catch my friend and colleague Shanon performing a gig, hanging out and drinking with some good friends and old mates I haven't seen in a while. So that was good. But oh, to be able to sleep. Sleep, and soundly. Sleep, with no interruptions. Sleep, through the night. Sleep, at night to begin with. Auggh!! Wish me luck. Sigh.

Wednesday, 7 January 2009

Cranky Neek Considers His Prospects

Heyhey boys and girls. Wow, the first week of 2009 is nearly over already, how time goes a-flying! Well, I'm back in the office, working four days a week... but with near 12-hour workdays, it's still quite exhausting, coupled with the fact that I also haven't been sleeping well lately, thinking too much about theatre stuff and struggling to finish the Follow the Light rewrites, which I'm already overdue on. I'm very, very close to letting The Edge rest completely this year, because, looking at my schedule and with the aforementioned full-time work, it's going to be too much of a rush job to try to get the show up and running by mid-year, especially if I'm going to try to produce it myself (with the help of some more experienced industry players) outside of the company that had produced the workshop. And if FTL is going to happen year-end, then The Edge has to happen by mid-year, so that I can devote at least four to five months on making sure the material is the best that it can be in time for rehearsals in time for performances in time for Christmas. Oy vey.

No, I think the wisest option would be to let The Edge rest until next year, and devote this entire year just to FTL. We don't want what happened with Christmas Carol: too much time and energy devoted to one production, compromising the outcome of another. I'm rather regretful about having been part of CC (and I say this openly on my blog which nobody reads)... not because of the people I've met, who've (for the most part) been wonderful; but because, generally, of the somewhat negative energy that the production had due to a lack of organisation, too much politics, and a glaring shortage of, shall we say, experienced personnel. And also because, on my part, I should have spent the past few months devoted to improving The Edge and not working on CC. If I'd done that, maybe February would've been a go. But oh well, hindsight is 20-20 and all that, and I am proud of the work I've done on CC, but a part of me thinks, maybe, I could've — should've — gone without. It's funny, but Colin, the FTL director-to-be, had warned me about biting off more than I can chew, but I never believed him until now. Live and learn, eh?? Personal growth. Heh.

All that being said, with four days of work per week, I think I shall judiciously choose to do minor projects — shows with just a few songs, or prerecorded music, etc. But I shall cross that bitch when I get to it; as of right now, I'm here in the office, sleep-deprived, tense and cranky (which, those who know me well would say, is my default state, poo to you!), and I think I'm very close to burnout point. Don't forget, Christmas Carol ended just about nine days ago... and I haven't stopped working since. Osh kosh bgosh.

Anyway, that's just what's new in my life. Apart from the fact that I've moved desks at work, which is terribly, terribly exciting (insert blank expression here). And I've been thinking, 2009 is the year to seriously, seriously take up the option of moving out of my folks' place. I've been back two and a half years. By the three-year point... it will have to be.

Okay, that's all for now. Will write more after a long snoooooze. Oh wait. I'm still in the office. Arf. Looks like another long day... ;)

Thursday, 1 January 2009

Curry and Capers

The first of January, which is also New Year's Day (in case you missed it), was also Scary Nick's birthday, so we went out and had a lovely dinner to celebrate it. We went to this North Indian restaurant in The Gardens, and (as is the norm when we get together), gorged ourselves silly on breads, curries, soups and other scrumptious exotic cuisine. Okay, enough talk. Here are some pics from tonight!

Debs and Scary Nick, looking good in the light of the restaurant's overhead lamp.

Terry attempts to get us all in the picture using the mirror behind Debs and Nick.

And Terry does it. Sort of.

Mmmmmm. Foood. Yummeeee.

Terry with his North Indian tomato soup.

Yours truly, with Mulligatawny.

First Day Festivities!

Whoohooo! How goes it, everybody?? Well, New Year's Eve was quiet again this year (well, technically last year), with the same group of us doing the same thing we did the year prior, which was to hang out in a small group — Terry, Debs, her Nick (a.k.a. Scary Nick, because of the ghosties) and yours truly — and just drink the night away with good food and good company. Unlike NY's eve 2007, which was in Terry's apartment, we spent the evening at Deb's and Nick's place, and basically drunk ourselves into a stupor after gorging ourselves silly on homemade pork chops, steak, mashed potato and spaghetti. Mmmm. Gooood.

All in all I think we went through three and a half bottles of wine, some grappa, some Baileys, and I think there was some rather nasty concoction — a mix of triple sec, Baileys and vodka — that sent us all going "whoohooo two thousand and nineeeee!!"*plonk* (sound of inebriated bodies hitting the floor). But it was a great night... we played games (pertinently an addictive and annoying game called Mad Gab), talked and laughed about everything and nothing, and waited for paltry fireworks that could barely be seen beyond the highrise buildings in the vicinity. Heh. Happy 2009, one and all!!!!

Okay, enough chat. Here are some pics from last night, followed by — for the sheer time-wastingness of it all — some rather incriminating and mortifying videos. Enjoy!!

Delicious dinner, courtesy of Debs and Scary Nick

I love what Scary Nick's t-shirt says: "Video games have ruined my life. Good thing I have two extra lives."

The lighting in the room makes these shots look like scenes from a movie...

For some strange reason, Terry becomes the spokesperson for a container of chocolate mint truffle tea.

Debs tries the Concoction: a Screaming Orgasm (San Francisco style) made badly.

Yours truly and the anticlimactic Orgasm.

Terry and yours truly introduce the night's dinner:

Toasting the night and greeting the New Year (with bad accents):

Analysing the contents of the crappy curdly cocktail:

First o' the First!

Well, everybody! It's a brand spankin' new year, so here's wishing everybody a

2 0 0 9!

More updates coming...